The damning statistic behind the latest North Melbourne slump
Apr 8, 2019, 7:18AM
Whatever this latest rewrite of North Melbourne’s quirky, edgy stage show is, we can safely say it won’t be winning any Tony awards. In fact, it’ll once again be playing so far off Broadway that you’ll need a map and a compass to find the Kangaroos.
And bring a raincoat.
NORTH MELBOURNE’S LAST 3 SEASON STARTS
2017: 0-3
2018: 1-2
2019: 0-3
Sure; the Roos have added some zany new characters to the production this year, bringing in the likes of Jared Polec, Aaron Hall, Dom Tyson as well as Jasper Pittard... and Jasper Pittard’s hair.
In fact, Pittard’s hair is proving to be the most exciting feature of this young North Melbourne season, while simultaneously challenging the very fabric of what we thought the famous mullet was capable of.
No, this show still stinks.
The Kangaroos are winless through three games, and have lost 10 of the 12 quarters of football they’ve played so far. They’re ranked second last for scoring, and second last for points conceded, which marries in perfectly with their current second last place on the AFL ladder.
The most damning stat about this latest North Melbourne slump is an inside 50 differential which stands out like a sore thumb. Standing at -17, which, is a number that’s not only deplorable but almost double what the next worst team in the competition (Carlton -9.3) is conceding.
NORTH MELBOURNE’S INSIDE 50 DIFFERENTIAL PER SEASON
2014: -1.2 (14th)
2015: -1.2 (11th)
2016: -0.9 (12th)
2017: -2.4 (11th)
2018: -0.5 (11th)
2019: -17.2 (18th)
That’s an obviously alarming six-year pattern where, in Kangaroos matches, the football is located much closer to the opposition’s goal than their own, which, even infantile North Melbourne supporters would understand is not a good thing.
The Kangaroos kicked the first four goals in Round 3's MCG clash with the Hawks. A Hawthorn team minus the services of Liam Shiels and Shaun Burgoyne and who also had to endure the late withdrawal of the inspirational Jarryd Roughead to say nothing of the season-long injury to Tom Mitchell.
That four-goal lead against a depleted Hawks should have been enough for the Roos to register their first win of the season, yet they were only able to cobble together another 6 goals for the rest of the match, en-route to a 16 point loss.
There’s been precious little to be excited about at Arden Street over the past couple of decades, evidenced by the club winning AFL Finals matches in just three of their last 18 seasons. This winless start is the worst thing the club would have hoped for in an environment when the Roos struggle to generate much positive media attention at even the best of times.
This Kangaroo show needs a major rewrite. What that rewrite consists of remains to be seen, but my own creative suggestion is to do away with the main character dreaming about landing the league’s biggest free agent fish each off-season, and focus on something significantly more sustainable, attainable and enduring.
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